Pig Roast 2023 Newsletter

 

Pig Roast 2023 Newsletter

The ONLY authorized Pig Roast newsletter.

Letter from the Editor in Chief

By CT

CT is the PR Newsletter EIC and Executive Editor, Pig Roast LLC (PR LLC) Founder and CEO, King of the Piglantis, 2022 Bacon Boss, Protector of the Realm, Proprietor of Pissbets.com (the only recognized betting partner of PR LLC)

Ah, another Pig Roast. The smell of freshly slaughtered pigs and never laundered banana hammocks. Gallons of spit, vomit, and what we hope is runny Elmer’s glue spewn across garages and back patios throughout the nation as competitors prepare for the event. As always, those kooks at PR LLC have cooked up some new wrinkles this year, including three new games, new and returning fan favorite Bonus Cards, and a new draft format. Before we get up into them guts of the new additions, everyone here at PR LLC HQ, the PROC and associated minions appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm this year and if all goes to plan, we’ll be expanding to the undersea continent of Zealand by 2024!

The Final Wrinkle

So as the sememster draws to an end, I look back on my radical idea: the Roomba-inspired iron. Being a lazy man at my core, I understand that this device may not apply for everyone but I still think it is an interesting concept.

By using sensors and a small but precise camera to detect where the shirt is, the self-ironing iron removes the hassle of having to slave over your clothes while trying to get everything prepared before work. Because before you know it, your toast is burning and your kids are late for the bus and who is going to take care of that wrinkled shirt before your big meeting, in oh, twenty minutes?

The concepts learned here in class have provided a little insight into what would go into developing a product like this from scratch. Using databases to store user information would be essential and could even be converted to cloud computing if our startup capital allowed for it. Knowing the different layers of processes for sending information helped me realize that this product would require a lot more training for me to be able to take user data and turn it into useful information.

Granted, I don't know how many people would actually want to buy this product, especially at a cost where we would make a profit. It would most likely have to be crowdsourced, via Kickstarter, or require a very generous friend or lottery winner to help get it off of the ground.

But the most important thing I almost forgot, and all throughout the semester, is that I never put a name on my beautiful device: The Laser Edge. Maybe carpenters will think it's something else and buy it; maybe kids want to impress their dads for Father's Day with something better than a Garfield tie; maybe housewives want another martini instead of doing the housework. The Laser Edge would help make the world look better and really, isn't that all that matters?

Knowledge is Power!

Having some insight into an IT career would be most helpful when working on the self-ironing iron.  Using the knowledge of computers is essential when attempting to program the software necessary to have the iron actually, you know, run.  Without that information, the iron would just sit there and maybe get hot enough to burn a hole right through your clothes.

Obtaining a degree or certification in software engineering would be a good idea, both for this idea and for a career in general.  I know in my office, there are many minor bits of technical assistance that I am often dispensing to my less than technological capable co-workers and I know almost nothing compared to the guy in our IT department -- that's right, one guy handles all of our IT needs.

Being able to get the self-ironing iron off of the ground would be a dream of mine.  I hate ironing and also looking like a bum, so being able to utilize some knowledge so that I can make this happen would be excellent.  And if it falls through, which is most undoubtedly would, I think that I could use that training to find another career somewhere else - maybe keeping our director of IT company.

Checking in with Robert Scoble

Robert Scoble seems to be a big deal for techies who keep their fingers on the pulse of what's going on.  As a "technical evangelist", he worked at Microsoft until 2006 and was known for his honest write-ups both in defense and in critique of Microsoft.  He has maintained a blog at http://scobleizer.com where he hasn't seemed to blog any time recently, but his Twitter feed is still very active (@Scobleizer).

His blogging style usually features numbered lists, which can sometimes make it look like just a checklist that he has prepared for every post.  But his prose is easy to follow and usually concise, so it makes for an enjoyable read.  He also incorporates many images and interviews with the different people from the tech world that he interacts with.

A small sample of Scoble's bloge, scobleizer.com

If you are interested in the more entrepreneurial side of the burgeoning tech world, Scoble's blog is one site that shows what's its like from the inside.  It's too bad he hasn't updated lately but his Twitter feed is filled with constant updates.

Submitting The Information

So having an iron that can capture all sorts of information is good, but if it can't submit the information, then there is no point.  We discussed the OSI method that is used with networks to deliver and receive data and the self-ironing iron is no different.  The physical layer is the mini USB cord (or wireless if the premium model is purchased), which "physically" transfers the information from the iron.  The information in question would be patterns, fabric and usage information that we collate to see what our customers are using the iron for; this also includes updates to the software when needed.

The data link layer helps organize and send the data through the wireless modem (premium model, of course); this layer also double checks to make sure that the proper information is being sent.  Sending faulty information more than once can lead to a lack of consumer confidence and will hurt our future sales if this becomes our reputation.  The network layer relies on the user's router to actually send the packets of info to our servers and from there, the transmission control protocol will establish a connection with the iron and our servers.  The session layer controls the session when the packets are sent, the presentation layer translates decrypts the packets (not that there is too much essential data) and the application layer on our end, as the company, provides a way that we can actually understand the packets that are sent.

Understanding the OSI layer is important because without knowing how it works, there is no way to ensure that we are able to send and receive the data from our customers.  Because we are only as good as our customer's believe us to be, if we aren't able to keep up with their needs and demands, we'll certainly go out of business.  Again, the thought of a Roomba-like iron company making the big time is a Kickstarter dream at best, but a man can dream, can't he?

Adding Rules to the Folds...or Creases?

Amongst all of the learning that is involved with this class, I forgot to add an important wrinkle to the programming: algorithms.  It's great to have an idea for a self-ironing iron, but without algorithms all of the programming that goes into the iron would be for naught.  Algorithms, being rules that are used to instruct your programming, are essential for any software to be functional.  Without algorithms, the iron would have power coming into it, but would not know what to do with that power source -- much less be able to do anything that you would want it to.  So I would either need to learn how to write algorithms or, what would be more likely, I would need to hire a software engineer to help me make a useful product.

We were also talking about storage and hard drives in today's lecture. While there would need to be a small amount of storage so that you can use the iron without needing any connectivity to remote servers, it would not need any substantial storage for it's most basic functions.  It would not need a hard drive or anything with that much storage for it's day to day use.  If you were to upload music or patterns to it, the connection to the remote server would store that data and then it would be streamed from there.

Another option would be to use cloud storage.  Again, the storage needs are minimal so it would only be on the premium models.  And to be perfectly honest, I imagine many users looking for a cheaper model would scoff at the idea of an iron that has cloud connectivity or even needed an Internet connection.  But it would be an interesting feature to include, as people who would shun a self-ironing iron most likely wouldn't buy one in the first place.

Bits and Scraps

Having the ability to upload information is useful, but having all of that raw data needs to have an application - knowledge without application is useless.  So for my iron to be useful, aside from the practical use of automatically ironing your clothes, processing the internal data so that it can be used for information that will help the user make the most out of the product is essential.  Having the wireless Internet connectivity to the iron will prove to be beneficial for many things, especially from an advertising and marketing viewpoint.

Say that you use your iron twice a week to iron your cotton shirts.  While you are doing this, the iron, using both inputs that you have entered for shirt type, can use it's camera to determine what color shirt and even what brand of shirt that you are using.  By volunteering to have your iron upload that data, we can see that you are a fan of blue Ralph Lauren oxford shirts.  If you opt to use the data upload service, which will have a better name in time, but choose not to pay for it you may be shown some brief advertisements on your LCD screen on the iron that will suggest different products that Ralph Lauren offers.  The uses for this type of data upload would be enormously useful to advertisers.

Similarly to the XBOX Kinect, which is the camera sensor that attaches to the game console that tracks your movements, there would be a privacy concern from some citizens.  It isn't an unfounded worry but we would guarantee that your iron's camera is not on when not in use, therefore not tracking your habits when you aren't expecting it.  Also, we can adjust the camera to only focus very close to it, so that it would not have a wide lens to capture anything other than what is inches in front of it.

These are all ideas that technology can help us with.  Or maybe I just watch too much "Mad Men".