Genesis of Genius

I don't think that a hatred of ironing is a gender thing, although I certainly loathe it.  Similar to the way that I generally maintain a strong dislike for mathematics that involve numbers or fractions, ironing and I have never gotten along mainly because I never got to know it on a personal level.  Now that I am (technically) a young man still, my methods for removing wrinkles from clothes still lie in the preventative school: get that Oxford out of the dryer before a wrinkle can even think of setting in.  Best case scenario is usually praying for some temporarily burnt fingertips. But more often than not, I end up with another wrinkly shirt.  Thankfully my job adheres to the casual in business casual but there are some days when homeboy just wants to look fly and only pugs and shar peis look cute all creased up.

Don't get me wrong: I own an iron.  I own an ironing board. I have the tools but do not possess the will or the capacity to iron my clothes.  Mainly I am deathly afraid of ruining a shirt, as my mother and iron's strict instructions about what heat/pressure/steam/starch levels for each type of fabric leave me paralyzed that I'll further reduce my post-college, pre-money wardrobe that I wear now to looking like a railyard hobo.  Also, while I have a girlfriend, in today's culture it is less than passe to expect her to do my laundry, much less let me walk out of the house not looking like said railyard hobo, which she is wont to do (also she can't iron worth a lick either).

Now I hear you out there: you lazy oaf/buffoon/louse! Pick up the blasted iron and make some mistakes! Surely that's the only way to learn, no?   To which I say, no! There has to be a better way!  Enter the Self-Ironing Iron (better name pending).  Seeing as the Roomba vacuum has invaded pop culture via cats, "Parks and Recreation" and SkyMall magazine, I had a brain flash: make an iron that operates like a Roomba.  The concept on paper is rather simple: create an iron that, based upon inputs for fabric type, starch preference, and type of clothing, knows how to iron your clothes better than you do!  With an ironing surface that prevents the iron from going anywhere, the self-powered iron uses sensors and a camera eye to stay on the clothes and flatten them to perfection, very similar to how a Roomba vacuum knows where your dirt and/or dry party lies.

If you'll excuse me, I have a Shark Tank to go visit.